You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
