i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
