I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize