you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
tell me about the fingering
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