I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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