Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
My vagina just recognized that song.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
