YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
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