that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
