he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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