Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
People in love make me want to vomit
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
