oh god the rape fog is back!
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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