That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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