I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
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