I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
