i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
