I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
