I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize