I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Sorry about my life...
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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