the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
