Moan for me like Helen Keller
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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