I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
