Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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