I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Randomize