dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Randomize
