Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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