God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
