I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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