We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I can't put those talents on a resume
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
