I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
