she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
