actually, I'm a sock model
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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