my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize
