I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
