I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize