she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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