i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
