I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
After tacos, we're chasing women.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Randomize
