No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
