whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize