butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
