we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
