i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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