What did we do last night that was yellow?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize