We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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