Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
