the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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