"it" just moved
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
FUCK WHALES
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