I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
