So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
