what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
