Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
