I hate your face
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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