Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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