Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Randomize