Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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