Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I touched a dick in church today
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
