Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Terrible idea I love it
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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