I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
