I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
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