I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
