So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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