Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
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