Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize