yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Randomize
