I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
